It's not a Christmas letter, but that's what we still call it. I think of it more as a 1st quarter letter. This way the letter's not late; I just have to get it out by end of March.
But I'm not waiting until March. I'm writing it today, and since I haven't blogged in a while I thought I'd post the brainstorm session and kill two birds with one in the bush. Now, Heidi can't say, "you were supposed to start the letter and you blogged instead?!" Pretty smart, huh?
So here goes. I'll start with the kids...
Charlie - he's getting tall. I can almost wear his shoes, and since his tend to be newer and in better shape, he won't be tempted to wear mine. It'll be a good arrangement once it gets moving. I used to steal my brother's clothes all the time. He had better fashion sense. I figure by next year I'll be looking quite nice in Charlie's sweaters.
Lewis - wrenched his knee in basketball this week. We definitely feel his absence around dinner time when he can't do his chores. Children are a very practical blessing, especially when they're old enough to clean the kitchen, haul wood, and shovel driveways. Lewis does all three well, and then some. (this is a brainstorm - I'll come up with warm fuzzy stuff later).
Max - coming along as a point guard, and his piano playing is starting to sound like Miss Cathy knows what she's doing. As always, Max is cheerful and quick to talk to the closest human. He's got my flakiness and a true man's inability to find whatever he's lost, and he loses stuff with the best of em.
Hudson - It will be interesting to see how living life in pursuit of a bunch of older, bigger kids will play out in Hud's development. So far so good; He can hang with anybody. And though he does get sat on more than anyone else, we haven't noticed any response or coping mechanisms that might call for therapy later in life. I can see some of Charlie's science bent, Lewis's perpetual motion, Max's good nature, and Heidi's cheek dimple.
Elizabeth - she's a great big sister. And though she tries to make up for Bennett's lack of comprehension with sheer, high-pitched volume, she seems to be one of the boy's favorites. She's definitely girl-wired. Her proclivity towards all things pink and princess-ish is continuing on in the same trajectory. If there's any tomboy there, we ain't seen it yet.
Bennett - kind of a pain right now. H and the boys are at enrichment day, and he reeeeally likes to be held. He doesn't do much either. No skills at all. I tend not to find much interest in my kids until they're at least one. I love them, of course. They're just sort of lumpish until then.
Work - same. I'm thankful to be employed. Heidi's thankful she can be at home.
Friends, family, church life, personal interest stuff -- saving all that for the letter. I'll post it here too when we're done. Probably some time this summer.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
We Don't Need Self Esteem - We Need its Antidote
I heard recently about a report on US students' math and science scores in comparison with the rest of the industrialized world. Apparently we suck at both subjects, but especially when we're compared with Asian nations. That wasn't a surprise. Japanese and Korean kids go to school a bazillion hours a day, all year long - hardly an arrangement I want my kids trading up to.
What did surprise me was another stat. Apparently, US students did score higher than any other nation in one category - confidence. Our students think they're great at math. They feel good about themselves and their math skills and believe in themselves (whatever that means). In contrast, students from Asian countries--and this may surprise you--are not only less confident in their abilities, but they actually dislike math and science more than US students do. So how do we make sense of this? I think it's easy - our students don't feel like they need it - we've protected them from such feelings - while the rest of the world knows they need it.
The self-esteem nonsense we've been feeding our kids for a few decades now is bearing its fruit: Our kids no longer excel at math and science because they no longer have to. They feel good and fine right where they're at. And why shouldn't they? They're learners, and we've been teaching them that they're just fine since they were teachable. Unfortunately, in this respect we've done our jobs too well. We've taught them right out of teachability and into complacency. No one is teachable who thinks he knows it all. No one is teachable who thinks she doesn't need the knowledge.
Of course, no teacher is telling students explicitly that they know it all, or that knowledge and skills are unnecessary. But if a student is told for years that his work is good when it's not, that he should feel proud of his efforts when he should feel shame, if he's been affirmed in things that should have been torn down, then his perception of ability and need will be skewed. In such a head, self becomes the determining agent, and all things, including knowledge, must submit to it. In "teaching" our kids self-esteem, we've thrown out the one thing our students need most - the humility of a teachable spirit.
So how do we reverse course? Well, we don't just do the opposite. The remedy to being bit by a snake is not to bite it back, but to find an antidote. The opposite of self esteem is not self negation or self immolation or self anything. It's not an inward or even a horizontal perspective at all--it's vertical. The only way to reverse the damage that self-esteem teaching has done and is doing to our kids is to show them who they really are before a holy God. And then show them what God's really done in Christ. We need to teach them that they're not fine, that they're not ok, that they have nothing in themselves on which to base confidence. But we don't stop there. We also teach that there's a place on which to build true confidence that is much broader, much stronger than self. We teach them Christ esteem.
What did surprise me was another stat. Apparently, US students did score higher than any other nation in one category - confidence. Our students think they're great at math. They feel good about themselves and their math skills and believe in themselves (whatever that means). In contrast, students from Asian countries--and this may surprise you--are not only less confident in their abilities, but they actually dislike math and science more than US students do. So how do we make sense of this? I think it's easy - our students don't feel like they need it - we've protected them from such feelings - while the rest of the world knows they need it.
The self-esteem nonsense we've been feeding our kids for a few decades now is bearing its fruit: Our kids no longer excel at math and science because they no longer have to. They feel good and fine right where they're at. And why shouldn't they? They're learners, and we've been teaching them that they're just fine since they were teachable. Unfortunately, in this respect we've done our jobs too well. We've taught them right out of teachability and into complacency. No one is teachable who thinks he knows it all. No one is teachable who thinks she doesn't need the knowledge.
Of course, no teacher is telling students explicitly that they know it all, or that knowledge and skills are unnecessary. But if a student is told for years that his work is good when it's not, that he should feel proud of his efforts when he should feel shame, if he's been affirmed in things that should have been torn down, then his perception of ability and need will be skewed. In such a head, self becomes the determining agent, and all things, including knowledge, must submit to it. In "teaching" our kids self-esteem, we've thrown out the one thing our students need most - the humility of a teachable spirit.
So how do we reverse course? Well, we don't just do the opposite. The remedy to being bit by a snake is not to bite it back, but to find an antidote. The opposite of self esteem is not self negation or self immolation or self anything. It's not an inward or even a horizontal perspective at all--it's vertical. The only way to reverse the damage that self-esteem teaching has done and is doing to our kids is to show them who they really are before a holy God. And then show them what God's really done in Christ. We need to teach them that they're not fine, that they're not ok, that they have nothing in themselves on which to base confidence. But we don't stop there. We also teach that there's a place on which to build true confidence that is much broader, much stronger than self. We teach them Christ esteem.
That's what I'll do with my own kids, but as a public school teacher, I don't think I'll be attending in-services on it any time soon.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Stuff I Like Right Now
Heidi thinks some of my posts are too . . . something. Heavy? This one's not heavy, not at all.
Some stuff I like right now...
Mumford and Sons. I did a FB status a few weeks ago asking for music suggestions and got a few nods to M and S. Thanks.
Same for Kings of Leon.
True Grit. Haven't seen a movie in at least a year, maybe two, but when I saw the trailers for this film, I really wanted to see it. It occurred to me only then that I also like...
Westerns, at least recent ones (The Unforgiven, 3:10 to Yuma, Open Range). And because I really like...
Cohen brothers films (I've always known that), this one did not disappoint on either category.
Pizza. I have in mind a particular recipe, a childhood memory of eating pizza with cousins in Chicago at Gino's or Uno's, can't remember which. I'll be taking a shot at it soon, just need the right sauce. Suggestions are welcome.
Nyquil. I've been sick most of Christmas break (I'm sick every break; my body has a good sense for the calendar and knows when it can fall apart with minimal disruption to the rest of life), but I've been sleeping well. I recommend cherry flavored.
Bowl games. Doesn't matter who's playing, there's just something about watching college athletes playing what for many of them will be their last organized game of football. Whatever the something is, it's patently missing at the pro level.
My 55" TV to watch bowl games. I'm not audio/video guy. I'm not any sort of techie; in fact, I've never bought a TV in my life but have done pretty well with hand-me-downs. A couple years ago, a buddy upgraded and gave us his old one. Love it. Thanks, Tim.
Tea. It's cold out and I don't drink coffee.
My wood stove. There will come a time this winter when I'm sick of burning wood and everything associated with it. I'm not there yet. Wood is still good.
This post has caused me to think about two things: 1) I haven't included anything like wife, kids, friends, church, God. Somehow, telling the world that I like these things diminishes them. Such things are for a different category - they'd be sullied by lesser company; and 2) I don't like this kind of blogging. It's exactly the kind of writing that gives me a funny, slightly queasy feeling when I hear the word blog. The topic is me and I'm uncomfortable writing so closely on it. It's the same feeling I get when I begin, then delete, a FB update and say to myself, "who really cares what I had for dinner?" So if you said something like that to yourself as you read this, I apologize.
That being said, however, I'm not going to delete this. I want it on record that I posted a fluffy piece on stuff I like. But I think I'll stick with the heavy from now on.
Sorry, honey.
Some stuff I like right now...
Mumford and Sons. I did a FB status a few weeks ago asking for music suggestions and got a few nods to M and S. Thanks.
Same for Kings of Leon.
True Grit. Haven't seen a movie in at least a year, maybe two, but when I saw the trailers for this film, I really wanted to see it. It occurred to me only then that I also like...
Westerns, at least recent ones (The Unforgiven, 3:10 to Yuma, Open Range). And because I really like...
Cohen brothers films (I've always known that), this one did not disappoint on either category.
Pizza. I have in mind a particular recipe, a childhood memory of eating pizza with cousins in Chicago at Gino's or Uno's, can't remember which. I'll be taking a shot at it soon, just need the right sauce. Suggestions are welcome.
Nyquil. I've been sick most of Christmas break (I'm sick every break; my body has a good sense for the calendar and knows when it can fall apart with minimal disruption to the rest of life), but I've been sleeping well. I recommend cherry flavored.
Bowl games. Doesn't matter who's playing, there's just something about watching college athletes playing what for many of them will be their last organized game of football. Whatever the something is, it's patently missing at the pro level.
My 55" TV to watch bowl games. I'm not audio/video guy. I'm not any sort of techie; in fact, I've never bought a TV in my life but have done pretty well with hand-me-downs. A couple years ago, a buddy upgraded and gave us his old one. Love it. Thanks, Tim.
Tea. It's cold out and I don't drink coffee.
My wood stove. There will come a time this winter when I'm sick of burning wood and everything associated with it. I'm not there yet. Wood is still good.
This post has caused me to think about two things: 1) I haven't included anything like wife, kids, friends, church, God. Somehow, telling the world that I like these things diminishes them. Such things are for a different category - they'd be sullied by lesser company; and 2) I don't like this kind of blogging. It's exactly the kind of writing that gives me a funny, slightly queasy feeling when I hear the word blog. The topic is me and I'm uncomfortable writing so closely on it. It's the same feeling I get when I begin, then delete, a FB update and say to myself, "who really cares what I had for dinner?" So if you said something like that to yourself as you read this, I apologize.
That being said, however, I'm not going to delete this. I want it on record that I posted a fluffy piece on stuff I like. But I think I'll stick with the heavy from now on.
Sorry, honey.
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